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“Live Better with Less”, Bill McKibben

Filed under: Voices from Beyond — Pastor Jeff at 9:26 am on Thursday, September 27, 2007

(Sharon Coughlin called my attention to this article in AARP magazine about McKibben’s new book.  It seems tie in directly with this past week’s sermon.) 

Attention shopaholics and supersizers. Go nowhere near an important new book called Deep Economy: The Wealth of Communities and the Durable Future (Times Books, 2007). You may never indulge the same way again.

Author Bill McKibben, the Harvard-trained economist and activist who’s forged a career reporting on such hot-button topics as overpopulation and global warming, wants to send a shock wave through our retail-addicted culture. “The idea that more is better, which has been orthodoxy for the past 50 years, no longer matches reality,” McKibben tells me from the rural Vermont home he shares with his wife, author Sue Halpern, and their 14-year-old daughter. “More stuff doesn’t make people happier.” In fact, once our basic needs are met, the very opposite seems to be true.

In the past decade the burgeoning field of happiness studies has overturned many of our basic assumptions about where satisfaction comes from, how long it lasts, and where we should focus our energy. The results of our choices are not as life-changing as we think they’ll be (the novelty passes; the credit card bills remain), and many of capitalism’s long-standing assumptions—that acquisitions improve our lives—turn out to be a load of hooey. Consider a have-versus-have-not example from a visit McKibben made to a factory in rural China, where he spoke with a worker named Liu-Xia. Making small talk, he asked Liu-Xia, 18, if she owned a stuffed animal: he’d noticed that many of the girls in the factory dorm had one on their beds. She began to cry. She couldn’t afford such an item, she said. Later, when McKibben brought her a stuffed dog, “the girl was as pleased as I’ve ever seen a person.” For McKibben the contrast was clear. His own daughter, he notes, has a roomful of Beanie Babies. How could a stuffed animal possibly have the same meaning for her? “In that world,” McKibben says, thinking of Liu-Xia, “possessions still deliver.”
Not so in the United States, where the Eisenhower-era ideal of bigger cars, faster foods, and automatic everything has been nearly as devastating to our nation’s psyche as rampant consumption has been to the earth. Once measured to have the happiest citizens in the developed world, the United States is now number 23, according to research compiled at the University of Leicester. Alcoholism, suicide, and depression rates have soared, with fewer than one in three Americans claiming to be “very happy.” Even more frightening is the trickle-down effect of this malaise on our kids. Studies suggest that today’s average American child reports suffering higher levels of anxiety than the average child under psychiatric care in the 1950s.

“All that material progress—and all the billions of barrels of oil and millions of acres of trees that it took to create it—seems not to have moved the satisfaction meter an inch,” says McKibben. “It’s as if we’ve done an experiment in whether consumption produces happiness and determined that it doesn’t.”
The reasons for this paradox are complex. In part, as with McKibben’s daughter, it’s because we all have more than enough stuffed animals in our lives. But McKibben sees a link between our isolated, overstuffed homes and a breakdown in community—the unseen emotional price of cheap goods and big lives. “Our global economy comes at the cost of local economy and human connection,” he says. The pursuit of mammon “has turned us ever more into individuals and ever less into members of a community, isolating us in a way that runs contrary to our most basic instincts.” We scrimp and save for the bigger house, only to find ourselves more cut off from friends and family.

Suburban sprawl has been an undeniable culprit in our widespread alienation. With population density plummeting, and houses getting bigger, the likelihood of bumping into neighbors drops enormously. “An awful lot of boomers began their adult lives doing extremely idealistic things,” he adds. “Many of these ideals fell away as we became immersed in consuming. Now we need to find our way back.”

There are straightforward ways of scaling down our lives. Consider the local farmers’ market, now the fastest-growing sector of our food economy. The average bite of food an American eats travels some 1,500 miles before it reaches our table. Yet it takes a tenth as much energy to grow foods locally, and shoppers are reported to have about ten times as many social interactions at their farmers’ market than in the aisles of, say, Wal-Mart.

To test his own theory, McKibben decided to see if he and his family could make it through a glacial Vermont winter subsisting exclusively on food produced near their home in the Champlain Valley. The author specializes in real-life experiments: he walked from Vermont to New York for his memoir, Wandering Home (Crown Journeys, 2005). The results of this “year of eating locally” are fascinating. The imperative of finding food nearby, while time-consuming, helped forge bonds with neighbors he’d never met and deepened his intimacy with the landscape. Newly connected to his home, McKibben emerges from his citrus-deprived winter a deeper and healthier man, having consumed not a single processed food. “The winter permanently altered the way I eat,” he says. “It left a good taste in my mouth. That good taste was satisfaction.”
Not all of us can afford to give up the bargain prices at superstores. McKibben-the-economist is sensitive to this, though he entreats us to view expenditures differently. While farmers’ market prices may be a bit higher, local foods are fresher (and tastier) and have less impact on the environment. The idea, he says, is not to forgo bulk-item bonanzas completely but to seek a balance between convenience and the economics of neighborliness. “Efficiency has been oversold as a virtue,” he says. “The ability to produce as fast and cheaply as possible has ruined countrysides and abused people and animals.” Study after study shows that our overreliance on processed foods is contributing to a ballooning national obesity problem.

So how did we get here? McKibben traces our troubles to 1712, with the invention of the first practical steam engine. Overnight the energy produced by burning coal could replace a team of 500 horses walking in a circle. “Suddenly 100 percent growth in the standard of living could be accomplished in a few decades, not a few millennia,” says McKibben. It also explains how human beings have used, shockingly, more raw materials since World War II than in all previous recorded history.

The toxic effects of this struck him hard during his China trip, where in Beijing the sky was so polluted “you could stare straight at the sun.” In an inefficiently energized world where getting rich means getting dirty, copycatting the American lifestyle could push our planet over the brink. At current rates there will be some 1.3 billion Chinese as rich and consumer-minded as our middle class by 2031. “But if the Chinese owned cars like we do, they would add 1.1 billion cars to the 800 million already on the road,” he says, not even mentioning India, Indonesia, and nations in Africa. “If the Chinese ate meat the way we do, they’d consume two thirds of the world’s grain harvest by themselves. The earth will never accommodate that.

“Of course the poor nations of the world need to develop. But if they do so using our model, the planet will break under the strain. We in the rich nations must change. We need to figure out a world that works for everyone.” Doing so just might make us happier.

Mark Matousek is a New York-based writer who’s never liked to shop. He wrote about Joan Didion in the March & April issue of AARP The Magazine.
 

Money and Happiness

Filed under: Pastor Jeff's Sermons — Pastor Jeff at 2:27 pm on Monday, September 24, 2007

A sermon preached on September 23, 2007 based upon Luke 16:1 – 13, entitled “Money and Happiness”.

We all say, we just want to be happy. The United States may well be the most self-consciously happiness pursuing nation in the world. Thomas Jefferson even wrote it into our declaration of independence that this new country was intentionally founded on the principle of everybody‘s right to “life, liberty and the
pursuit of happiness.”

But here’s the odd thing. Happiness, the real deal, can be strangely elusive, despite all the pursuit of it that goes on.

The thing about happiness, though, is that it isn’t really rocket science. If we want to be happy, our best shot comes in living, as best we can, in harmony with the way God designed life. Live according to the ten commandments, which includes such things as keeping a good balance between work and rest, telling the truth, being faithful to spouse and parent, not stealing or killing, refraining from envy. Do these things, the scriptures tell us repeatedly, and we will live — will flourish.

Pretty basic stuff. Happiness isn’t brain surgery. If you desire happiness, put the golden rule into practice: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto your self.” The ministry of Jesus involved refocusing our attention on living the way God designed life:

Forgive. Holding onto resentments will do you in for sure.
Live with integrity. Don’t be a hypocrite, two-faced.
Don’t be self-righteous and judgmental.
Care about the people around you, both family and stranger, and help those
who are less fortunate than yourself.
Strive to be a part of a loving community.

This is what the Bible tells us about how God designed life to operate. Recently scientists have been providing reinforcement regarding the principles of happiness. They measure such things as peoples’ perceptions of their personal happiness, as well as the effects of attitudes on health. They’re finding that people who are actively involved in a community of faith, taking time to step back and reflect and to worship tend to feel better about their lives and live longer — stuff like that. There’s plenty of evidence that people who practice forgiveness, and who regularly invest themselves in their larger community with acts of service, live healthier, happier lives.

So the keys to happiness aren’t really rocket science or brain surgery. You don’t really need the latest self-help book to show you the secrets. It’s all been there in the Bible for thousands of years.

So, why, then is happiness so elusive? Why is there so much loneliness, conflict, violence; so many feelings of emptiness, despair? At the risk of over simplification, I turn now to the choir to provide an answer for us to this question, courtesy of a song by the Beatles:
(The choir stands and, with a strum of a guitar, quickly belts out these lyrics:)

The best things in life are free.
But you can give it to the birds and bees
I need money, (that’s what I want.)
That’s what I want. (That’s what I want.)
That’s what I want, (That’s what I want.)

(From henceforth in this sermon, choir members will chime in with questions and comments, duly noted.)

Yes, my friends we’re talking about money. Jesus said, “No slave can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and” (pause) what?

Wealth!

I can’t hear you.

(Louder.) Wealth!

Is it really money itself that is the problem, Jeff?

No, money in itself is fine. Money can be used for wonderful good things that God wants done in this world. The problem is in the love of money — the way that money so easily can become our god, promising to give us a fake kind of happiness, that makes it so dangerous. “Oh, you want happiness, do you? You don’t need to follow God’s design, focusing on all those things God has told you makes for a happy life. All you need is more money, because once you have it you can go out and purchase what every your little heart desires. And that will make you happy.

Jeff, is that why people spend so much money on lottery cards?

You bet it is; they’re looking for the short cut to happiness, but it’s a
lie.

The love of money has a way of taking over whole societies so that it becomes harder and harder for people to live life the way God designed it.

Is there any hope?

Yes, there’s always hope, as this morning’s parable shows us. Jesus tells us about this manager who had spent his whole life working for this rich man. This manager, as we see, was a pretty clever guy. Imaginative, creative. No telling what this guy might accomplish for God given the opportunity. But instead of doing great things for God, he’s been keeping the books of the rich man.

Why’s he do that, Jeff?

He did that because that’s what the world told him he was supposed to
do. Make money. And the rich man paid him a nice a salary, which allowed
him to live in a nice house, drive a nice car, fast speed internet, cable t.v.., lot of of nice stuff.

Was he happy, Jeff?

No, not really. But he settles for being comfortable instead of happy. He thought
that being comfortable and being happy were the same thing, because that’s what society had told him, and he accepted the lie.

Hasn’t he been living according to God’s design?

No sir! He’s been using the gifts God gave him to maintain a corrupt system that keeps piling heavy burdens on people. He hasn’t been lightening the load of the
little people. He hasn’t been using his gifts to make the world a better, more humane place. The only thing his life has been about has been making the rich man richer. He’s helped the rich man stay rich by keeping the poor people poor.

If he’s so miserable, how come he never just quit this life?

Well, you could say he’s an addict — he’s addicted to money and all the stuff
money can get a person. Does alcohol make an alcoholic happy?

No, sir!

But the alcoholic keeps drinking, right, because getting drunk momentarily gives him a momentary escape. But he doesn’t know how to give it up.

(A Reader comes to the podium.)
Reader: The stock market crashed and I lost a bundle — really took a hit. I vowed then and there that I was going to change my life.

Hallelujah!

Reader: I recognized I needed a more spiritual view of life. I needed to give up being so obsessed with the material comforts and getting ahead, and that I needed to develop an appreciation for the things money can’t by: love, kindness, friendship, peace of mind. In general I needed to start loving people more and things less.

Praise the Lord!

Reader: But then, fortunately, the stock market went back up again.

Too bad!!!

One day, however, the man’s career as the rich man’s manager really did
take a tumble.

How’d that happen?

Who knows for sure? Maybe, being quietly miserable, his unconscious mind lead him to do that which his conscious mind didn’t have the nerve to do, to mess up so bad at his job that the bossman who have no choice but to fire his butt. And so the bossman tells him to issue a final report, clean out his desk, and hit the streets.

At first the man figures this is the worse day of his life. But, before long he discovers, to his great surprise, that it is, in fact the best day of his life.

Why’s that, Jeff?

Because he starts putting those gifts God gave him to work doing the kinds of
things God wants done in this world instead of just in order to turn a profit for the rich man.

What’s God want done in this world?

Lot’s of stuff, but one thing for sure, God wants us to lighten the burdens of the poor and hungry — to build a kinder, more love-friendly world, where people value people and use things, and not the other way around.

And so the manager starts cooking the books — but it probably wasn’t really “cooking the books,” since the books had probably already been cooked in the rich man’s favor — what he was really doing was correcting the books — making the books right for once.

And all kinds of wonderful things starts happening. The man gets invited into peoples’ homes for the first time in his life, and find’s himself with friends, something he hadn’t had much of before. He eases the burden of many poor folk who were being crushed under the rich man’s oppression. And there’s even some suggestion in the story that he made some inroads into the rich man himself. The rich man got a taste for having the little people appreciate him rather than hate him, and maybe he realizes that’s better that being filthy rich after all.

But, Jeff, don’t we want our kids to grow up to get the highest paying jobs possible?

You want them to be happy, or you want them to be rich? You want them to
make a difference in this world, or you want them to do their part to make the rich richer?

Forty years ago a poll was taken asking incoming college Freshman what
their goal was in coming to college. Do you know what was the most common
answer?

To drink as much beer as possible?

No. It was to “develop a meaningful philosophy of life.” Fast forward to the present. Do you know what is the most common answer given to this same question by today’s incoming freshmen?

To learn how to make the world a better place?

Unfortunately, not. The typical incoming Freshmen are there in college because they “want to be better off financially.” And the problem with that, my friends, is that first of all, they will have less of a chance at finding true happiness with their eyes set on money, and secondly, they are withholding their God-given gifts from a world that so desperately needs them to put
their gifts to use creating loving, caring communities.

After he told this story, Jesus said, “the children of this age are more shrewd in dealing with their own generation than are the children of light.” In other words the God given creativity and brainpower in human beings, what Jesus is here calling “shrewdness”, are more likely to be found discovering clever new ways to turn a profit than they are doing God’s will on earth.

We need to get a hold of our young people before they choose the direction of their lives. We’ve got to tell them about the lie the world is peddling about money bringing happiness.

Jeff, are you saying that a Christian young person shouldn’t go into business?

No, we need Christians out there in the business places, reminding the folks in the business world that the bottom line isn’t simply the profit margin — that there are larger values at stake.

In this morning’s newspaper I came across this headline: “More profit and less nursing at many nursing homes.” In other words, with millions and millions of people in our country needing nursing care, there is a whole lot of money at stake. What’s been happening is that mega-corporations have been buying up nursing homes, cutting nursing and recreation staff in order to make a bigger profit margin, all at the expense of quality care. So we need faithful business people in those corporate conference rooms saying, “Wait a minute. Would you want your mother sitting in her feces because the staff is so shorthanded there’s no one to help her?!”

No sir!

We need shrewd Christian business people in corporate settings using their creativity to find ways of making corporations more humane, and less cutthroat — a place of more friendship and cooperation among employees and less backstabbing.

We need shrewd Christian business people asking questions regarding the environmental impact of their businesses, keeping in mind the kind of world we will be leaving behind for our children and our children’s children.

But Jeff, we worry that if our kids don’t grow up to play the game the way the world tells them, they’ll be out of a job someday, starving.

“O ye of little faith, have you no faith?!” That was Jesus speaking, not me. But the point is, where is our faith anyway? One of the ways that we are tempted to make money our god is by getting sucked into the belief that there is no God of grace and power who is with us to help us in our times of trouble, and so we’re all on our own, so we’d better hoard all the money we can get our hands on, because neither God nor the friends and neighbors our God gives us can be trusted to come to our assistance.

I often think about what Doris Bradley’s mom, Lee Roza told me shortly before she died. I asked her what had been the happiest years of over ninety year life. She was quite clear regarding her answer: The happiest year were during the Great Depression, when nobody in her neighborhood had much money, and her husband and many other husbands were often without work, and people had no choice but to live simply, enjoying simple pleasures, and people were compelled to rely on their neighbors a great deal more than they do today, and since there was no TV or internet, tehy spent a great deal more time simply being with one another, sitting out on the front porch (remember those?), because it was cooler there when it got hot, and there was no air conditioning inside to retreat into.

These were the happiest years of Lee’s life, but these days we live in dread of an economic depression, because we’ve bought the lie.

Our daughter Kate is in Tanzania in East Africa, spending her Fall semester learning the language and studying the wildlife, but mostly immersing herself in the culture there. We’re proud of her. We’re not sure how she’s going to make a living off what she’s learning, but we know she’s seeing so much that will profoundly changer her forever in wonderful ways.

A big part of the program are the home stays, where for two weeks at a time she lives with a family — four different families of various economic levels, but all of them not as well off financially as we are. Kate has sent us a couple of emails when she got the chance in which she reflects on her experience. There is some major culture shock. Yes, Toto, we’re not in Jersey any more.

In certain ways, the communities she is experiencing resemble what Lee Roza described living back during the depression. The houses are smaller and more crowded. The concepts we take for granted regarding personal space don’t seem to concern folks there much, and this has taken some getting used to for Kate.

Kate showed her ipod to one of the little girls she was living with, that little computerized device by which a person can listen to endless recorded music through earphones. The girl’s reaction was revealing: she couldn’t understand the attraction of the ipod: “But your friends can’t enjoy your music when you’re listing to it!”

It is clear to Kate that she is experiencing a depth of neighborhood community unlike anything she has experienced back here. People enjoy sharing what they have with their neighbors. They love welcoming guests like Kate into their home. People aren’t hidden away from one another surrounded by all the gadgets money can buy.

Alas, however, the folks in Tanzania are fascinated by the products being generated and promoted from west. Maybe one day before too long they may succeed in building their economy to be like that of the United States, so that they, too, will no longer need their next door neighbors, and they’ll have instant internet and satelite TV in every home, and they can be just as happy as Americans are.

A couple of Einstein quotes

Filed under: Conversatons with Pastor Jeff — Pastor Jeff at 8:11 pm on Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Whether true or not, Albert Einstein carries the mantle of having been “the smartest person to ever live.” As such, his views on the existence of God have been hotly debated. The man surely said countless things on the subject that could be interpreted a host of ways, but I came across a couple of quotes that caught my attention:

“What separates me from most so-called atheists is a feeling of utter humility toward the unattainable secrets of the harmony of the cosmos.”

“The fanatical atheists are like slaves who are still feeling the weight of their chains which they have thrown off after hard struggle. They are creatures who–in their grudge against traditional religion as the ‘opium of the masses’–cannot hear the music of the spheres.”

“The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is something that our minds cannot grasp, whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly: this is religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I am a devoutly religious man.”

“Science can be created only by those who are thoroughly imbued with the aspiration toward truth and understanding. This source of feeling, however, springs from the sphere of religion.”

“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.”

Say what you will, the guy had a way not only with numbers, but also with words.

Arrogance

Filed under: Pastor Jeff's Sermons — Pastor Jeff at 12:18 pm on Monday, September 17, 2007

A sermon preached on September 16, 2007 based upon 1Timothy 1:12 – 17 and Luke 15:1 – 10, entitled “Arrogance”.

At the start of the Harry Potter series, Harry is an absolute nobody in this world, an orphan, with nothing about him that would appear to distinguish him; an altogether ordinary kid.  His presence is resented by his foster family, the Dursleys:  Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley, and they go out of their way to reinforce the message that Harry is by no means exceptional. 

Harry soon discovers, however, that there is this whole other world of wizards and magic and a profound struggle between the forces of good and evil, and that in this other world he of all people, is an absolute “somebody” — anything but ordinary, with extraordinary gifts, and a profound destiny to play in the battle of good against evil. 

All of us in various ways, struggle with feeling like Harry Potter-the-nobody, so very ordinary –  indistinguishable in this crowded world.  It is this idea of one day discovering that we are, indeed, quite extraordinary after all, that strikes a chord with all of us, and is, I suspect the secret to the books’ phenomenal success. 

There is a need within all of us to view ourselves as “special”, particularly when the world, as the Dursleys did to Harry Potter, gives us the message that we are nobodies. 

Unfortunately, the means by which we most commonly reach for that sense of being special has destructive consequences. 

In one of his books, Robert Folghum describes looking out the window of his house and seeing some kids playing hide and seek.  One kid is a little too good at hiding.  He hides in a pile of leaves, completely covered up.  His playmates can’t find him.  They grow weary of searching for him, tired of the game.

Folghum describes wanting to go out his front door and yell at the hiding kid, “Get found, kid! Get found!”

Why does the kid continue to hide in the leaves long after his playmates have ceased to look for him?  Well, because it seems more important to the kid to stand out as better at this game than anybody else; to appear more clever than his peers, than it is to be “one” with his friends.

He ends up feeling superior, but at a great cost.  He is cut off, alone, left out of the party that God and the angels throw every time the lost is found.

There is a word for this strategy of self-affirmation, and the word is “arrogance.”  It is, I would suggest, a strategy we all use at various times in an attempt to establish our life as distinctive, important, worthwhile.  We often don’t recognize arrogance in ourselves, because in large part we use the strategy as a survival mechanism to defend ourselves against the arrogance of others.  “They think they’re better than me, do they?  Well, guess what!  They’ve got the wrong criteria by which to judge people.  I have the true criteria, and by this criteria, I come off better than them!”

So if the initial criteria is, say good looks and athletic ability, maybe we turn it into brain power.  Or if brain power is what counts, and we are lacking in brain cells, then maybe we turn it into sensitivity.  The possibilities for criteria are endless. 

It’s always easier to recognize arrogance in others than it is in ourselves, in large part, because we assume our criteria is right.

Ultimately, though, arrogance is always destructive — to community, to others, to ourselves.  It keeps us from drawing close to God, as in the parable Jesus told in which the Pharisee goes to the temple to pray, but his prayer consists of nothing more than looking down on a tax collector whom he judges inferior.  The Pharisee in his arrogance, Jesus tells us, is totally disconnected from God.

And arrogance in ourselves always masks its opposite: a profound, underlying insecurity that maybe the Dursleys are right after all, that we really are absolutely ordinary nobodies. 

The Christian life is about finding the grace that overcomes arrogance.  Even after two years spent in the company of Jesus, the disciple Peter still relied upon arrogance when the chips were down.  “Even if these others may fall way, I won’t.  I’m made of the right stuff.”  It took the humiliation of that night and the absolutely unanticipated grace of Jesus’ resurrection to make significant inroads in Peter’s habit of arrogance.   

In our epistle lesson this morning, Paul is speaking autobiographically regarding his own struggle with arrogance.  He speaks about having been “a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a man of violence.”  We know from other parts of the New Testament that Paul was an ambitious Pharisee, a scholar of the Hebraic Law, who did a better job than anybody else in keeping the Law.  In his arrogance he looked down on others, passing judgment on those he considered heretical, particularly those insidious Christians with their crucified messiah. 

And then one day, to his utter surprise, he encountered that very same messiah, once crucified, but now glorified, Jesus the Christ, and Paul was laid low something fierce — absolutely humbled. 

He discovered he wasn’t nearly as smart as he had thought he was, that in fact the things he was most convinced were true –  the criteria he thought mattered most in judging a person — turned out to be dead wrong. 

And at just the point where he assumed he should have been obliterated, zapped dead by the Lord, to his great amazement he discovered love, mercy, grace. 

It isn’t easy growing up in this world.  Adolescence is a time where there are endless assaults to one’s sense of self esteem.  How does a person come to a place where you feel comfortable with oneself, feel good about oneself, and free to pursue your own way? 

I had a hard time fitting in when I was a kid.  I tried athletics, but I wasn’t quite good enough.  There was brainpower, but unfortunately there were always kids who could think circles around me. 

I settled into “sensitivity” as my criteria by which I could feel good about myself.  Introspective by nature, and having come from a home where my parents got divorced, cleverly I designated “sensitivity” the criteria by which human beings were to be judged.  I prided myself in my understanding of the depth of pain in this world, and my perceptivity of the feelings of others.  I was the king of compassion.

There are many things that lead me into the ministry, including, I trust, the grace of God, but one of these things was arrogance.  I was drawn to the image of the minister as the guy who stood, in some sense, above and apart from everybody else, wiser, more sensitive, more compassionate than everybody else – big time special.

One place, however, that I wasn’t so compassionate was in regard to my parents and their failure to make their marriage work.  When I got married, with all my sensitivity and compassion, I was confident I would do it right.  I wouldn’t put my kids through what my parents put me through. 

Arrogance tends to go hand in hand with loneliness, and so it was the case for me.  At age 29, I suddenly fell in love with a woman who shared a similar sort of arrogance, and within six months we were married, and the marriage lasted all of 2 and ½ years, long enough to bring my son Andrew into the world. 

Like Paul before me, I got humbled something fierce by the experience, and one thing it did was take away a lot of the judgment I had towards my parents.  I recognized that there really are things in ourselves and in this world that we don’t have control over. 

Funny thing: I had assumed that if I did end up getting divorced, I would have to leave the ministry.  How could I be a minister if I couldn’t even make my marriage work?

But when I finally announced to my congregation that I was getting divorced, to my great surprise they loved me, and lo and behold, I began to find another way of being a minister.  Ministry, I came to realize isn’t about feeling superior to people you bend down to help, rather, being in ministry is one sinner telling another sinner where they can find grace. 

There was a sense of having rejoined the human race.  It was better to come out from under the pile of leaves in order to be a part of God’s family. 

Now just as an alcoholic is always an alcoholic, even though they manage to enter on the path of recovery, so the temptation of arrogance is always there for us, even though we may have received insight regarding the nature of our arrogance and repented, as best we could, of its death grip on our lives.

There is a subtle distinction between being one of God’s forgiven sinners who is also a saint bearing God’s light, and being self-righteously arrogant, and it is so easy to fall back into the latter.

If you listen to the apostle Paul, I think you can hear arrogance creeping back into his thought processes.  He describes himself as having been, after all, the foremost of sinners. Now that’s special. 

You are a beloved child, in whom God delights.  God made you special.  That doesn’t mean superior.  It means God delights in you just the way you are.  You don’t need to look down on others when you get a hold of that thought.   You are simultaneously an ordinary sinner and an exceptional saint. 

Sermon: “Knit Together in Our Mother’s Womb”

Filed under: Pastor Jeff's Sermons — Pastor Jeff at 11:04 am on Monday, September 10, 2007

A sermon preached on September 9, 2007, based on Psalm 139:1 – 6; 13 – 18 entitled “Knit Together In Our Mother’s Wombs”.

I met someone who had recently consulted with a psychiatrist who is also some sort of neuro-scientist. The doctor had put him through a battery of complicated tests, including scans of his brain. Afterwards, sitting in the doctor’s office for the interpretations of the tests, the doctor showed him pictures of his brain. “Here,” he said pointing to particular portions of the brain scan, “you see how these areas are lit up? Most peoples’ brain scans don’t look like this. What this means is that the synapses of your brain in these areas are routinely firing a whole lot more frequently than they do in most peoples’ brains.

“On a practical level, what this means is that you will always be more susceptible to depression and anxiety than other people, and concentration will always present you with challenges. Fortunately, there are medications we can give you to help cope with these difficulties, but you need to know that this is simply the nature of your brain. This is how you are wired.”

Needless to say, this person was pretty blown away by this consultation. On the one hand, there was bad news in what he heard: “Because your brain is wired this way, you will always be susceptible to depression and anxiety. This isn’t ever going away.”

But there was also something liberating in what he had heard the doctor say. This person had already struggled throughout his life with depression and anxiety, and often times the interpretation he had made of this struggle — the interpretation he had encouraged to come to by the people around him — was that the waves of depression and anxiety that he had struggled with in life were character flaws within himself — that he should be able to cope better with life, and that his failure to do so meant he was a wimp, lazy — not a real man.

What the doctor had told him was releasing him from this interpretation: “No, this doesn’t mean you’re a wimp, or a lazy bum, or a bad person. This is simply the cards you were dealt in life. In fact, considering what you’ve been dealt by way of the design of your brain, you are to be complimented with how well you have coped.”

Now here is a question I would like to ask this morning: Is this person’s brain “good” or “bad”? Or to put it another way, is such a brain as this a “sick brain” or a “well brain?”

I don’t mean to give an absolute answer here, one way or another. I believe that there are some forms of what we call “mental illness” that are so brutal in the suffering they inflict that it is hard to see them as, in any sense, “good” — something which, if we had the opportunity, one wouldn’t want to a cure.

But here’s where the picture becomes cloudier: I know this person to be a very sensitive soul, with unique gifts which, in some sense, go hand in hand with the same sensitivities that make him prone to depression and anxiety. In this regard, he isn’t so uncommon. There have been countless great artists, scientists, statesman (Abraham Lincoln comes quickly to mind), with extraordinary abilities that allowed them to make great contributions to the human race who have suffered from depression and anxiety. And as in Jesus’ parable about a harvest of wheat and weeds, if we tried to yank out the weeds, might there not be some danger we’d yank out wheat by mistake?

Sometimes, the sickness gets identified in the individual, when in truth, it might well be more accurate to locate the sickness in society at large.

Take anorexia, for instance, that terrible mental illness that afflicts primarily teenage girls, whereby they refuse to eat, in some instances starving themselves to death. If you scanned the brains of anorexic young women there would be characteristics that would distinguish their brain scans from that of other young women. You would be able to look at their brain scans and say, this is a brain that is predisposed towards suffering from anorexia.

But here’s the thing: In the United States, something like one out of a hundred teenage girls fall suffer from anorexia. Another four out of a hundred suffer from bulimia, another eating disorder similarly found primarily in teenage women.

If, however, you went to other cultures, especially simpler, less commercialized cultures, and you scanned all the brains of the teenage girls in those cultures, you would find a similar proportion with scans that indicate a predisposition to anorexia or bulimia, and yet you would find a lot fewer of these girls actually suffering from these forms of self-abuse.

And the reason, of course, is that the girls in these other cultures aren’t being bombarded the ways girls in our culture are being barraged with messages regarding the absolute importance of physical attractiveness — defined, of course, by the standards of the culture — which includes a fixation with being thin.

Christian writer Don Miller puts it this way:

“Television drives me crazy sometimes because everybody is so good-looking, and yet you walk through the aisles of the grocery stores, and nobody looks like that. Somebody told me that in London people don’t judge you as much by the way you look, and I think it is true because late night on PBS they play shows out of England and the actors aren’t good-looking, and I sit there wondering if anybody else is watching and asking the same question: Why aren’t the actors in London good looking? And I already know the answer to the question, it is that America is one of the most immoral countries in the world and that our media has reduced humans to slabs of meat…”

Wow. That last line hits us hard. There are ways in which I think we are justified in thinking of our country as being out in front when it comes to morality, but through this particular lens, Miller would seem to be on to something. Our society quietly brutalizes young women with the onslaught of these messages that are put forth in order to turn profits at the expense of human lives.

I came across some striking statistics on a website about anorexia. American women come in all kinds of wonderful shapes and sizes. The average of all the various heights and weights is five foot four inches and a hundred and forty five pounds. In contrast, Barbie, the iconic doll that girls grow up with, is built proportionate to a six foot tall woman weighing in at an anorexic 101 pounds. The average American woman wears a dress size between 11 and 14. Barbie wears a size 4, and the typical mannequin you see in a store wears a size 6. In other words, the vast majority of women are falling far short of the ideals put forth by the culture.

When I’m going through the check out lines at the grocery store or a convenience store (something most Americans do hundreds of times a year), and I see all those prominently displayed magazines with cover exposes of female movie stars who dared to go out in public in a bathing suit, revealing the cellulitis in their thighs as though in doing so they had committed some great sin, I think about all you women forced to look at these magazine covers, not to mention the young women suffering from anorexia or bulimia, and I think to myself, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing some day to take a can of lighter fluid and go into these stores, and quietly pour it over all those magazines at the checkout lines, politely ask everybody to step back, and then light a match as an act of civil disobedience — that such an act would have something in common with that great act of civil disobedience Jesus committed that day long ago when he went into the temple and trashed the tables of the money changers, driving them out of the temple because they were ripping off the poor, promoting a system that lay heavy burdens of never-ending shame and guilt on ordinary folks, all in the name of God.

So how, you might be wondering, did I get on to this whole train of thought? Well, it was this morning’s reading from Psalm 139 that triggered these reflections. Hear part of it again:

“For it was you (O Lord) who formed my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb…”

The point here is that God made us the way we are. The “inward parts” that God knit together in our mothers’ wombs include such things as our DNA and the distinctive ways our brains were wired at birth.

At the end of the story of creation in the first chapter of Genesis, God looks at everything God has made, and God declares that it is very good. If we take this seriously, what this means is that you and I and everybody was made good — indeed, very good.

The sensitive soul whose brain cells are wired in such a way that he or she may more readily experience depression, anxiety or anorexia has unique gifts, though often these gifts go unrecognized: gifts of empathy and compassion; gifts of creativity and vision. The problem may not be so much in the sensitive souls as it is in the way societies have no room for such sensitive souls to dwell.

One of the best known verses of scripture is, “’Judgment is mine,’ says the Lord.” God alone has the prerogative of passing judgment, and one of the most common ways what the Bible calls “sin” gets expressed is in the human tendency to pass damning judgments on that which God has declared “very good.”

From time to time I drive over the Tappan Zee Bridge. This past week I passed over this bridge and noticed new signs that hadn’t been there before, placed in both directions as you approach the center of the bridge: “Life is a precious gift: 24 hour hotline ahead.” Apparently these signs were needed because too many people were driving to the center of the bridge — the highest spot — and ending their lives by jumping off. Now there is a 24 hour hotline there in the hope that some poor soul so tempted might be able to speak to someone who will convince them that the conclusions they have reached about the worthlessness of their lives are simply wrong.

There was a news headline this week that indicated that there has been a significant rise in the past year in the suicide rate of teenagers in America, and that this rise was driven by a particularly large increase in the number of teenager girls who had chosen to end their lives — girls who heard the cultural messages of what the good life consists of and so easily came to their own judgment that their own lives just didn’t measure up.

And it isn’t only girls, of course, to whom our society gives oppressive messages. Boys easily grow up in this world internalizing messages that tell them they aren’t tough enough on the one hand, or on the other, that there is something bad about them because the way their brains were wired by God, they find it awfully hard to sit still for six hours a day in a classroom.

We could go on here for quite some time talking about the various ways we grow up thinking the way we were knit together in our mother’s wombs are bad, because a sin-sick world has told us we are bad.

And so this morning as we have begun a new year of Sunday School, let us celebrate again our mission statement. Read over the whole thing, but specifically, the last line: “We seek to celebrate the uniqueness of every human being.”

Let’s tell our children: “You’re precious, kid. You are wonderful just the way God made you. You have unique and wonderful gifts that God has given you with which to bless the world. Don’t try to be something other than what God made you to be.”

Here in this church we are going to try and give our kids this message as often as we can, and in as many ways as we can, so that maybe these beautiful children won’t be so susceptible to believe it when the world tells them they aren’t good enough.

Sermon: Needed to be loved

Filed under: Pastor Jeff's Sermons — Pastor Jeff at 1:27 pm on Monday, September 3, 2007

A sermon preached on September 2, 2007, based upon Hebrew 13:1 – 8, entitled “Needing to Be Loved.”

If we were to ask, what is a human being’s greatest need?  It seems to me, the answer would be pretty easy to come up with:  Our greatest need is to be loved.  

We have a deep, at times overpowering, life-long need to be loved.  It is most obvious, of course, when we are little.  Jean has seen this so clearly expressed in her newly adopted daughter Kathryn, who at 7 months old, just wants to be held pretty much all the time.  It’s so real.  So fundamental. 

As we grow up, we seem to get a handle on this great need. We no longer need to be held all the time.  But the great need is still there, underneath everything, and we deceive ourselves if we think we no longer need to be loved.  Men, especially, have a tendency to fall prey to this illusion, taking for granted the love given to them in life,  no longer realizing just how much we rely on this love for daily sustenance.  And then sometimes something upsets the apple cart, and the persons we count on to love us, for one reason or another, are no longer there, and suddenly we find themselves plummeting into this black hole that opens up underneath us; an abyss we hadn’t even realized was there.

We all need to be loved. 

Now, in truth, the love we most need is given to us as a free gift from God.  And yet, in this life we need folks with skin on to convey this love.  You know the story:  A little girl awakes in the middle of the night because of the loud sounds of a thunder storm.  She calls out for her Mommy, who comes to her bedside.  “Oh, honey,” says the Mom, “Didn’t you realize that God is always here with you?” 

“Yes, Mommy, I know that.  But sometimes its nice to have someone with skin on.”
We human beings are capable of giving and receiving a whole range of expressions of love.  The highest expression of love is to be loved by someone who truly knows us. 

In the great love chapter, 1Corinthians 13, Paul writes about the qualities of love, and concludes by speaking of love’s exquisite culmination when we stand in the presence of God who knows us fully, absolutely.  This is the highest form of love.

Listen again to the beginning of this morning’s Scripture lesson:  “Let mutual love continue.  Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers…”  What is it about the “stranger” that places them in such great need?  The fact that they are not known.  To be a stranger is have the people in whose presence you stand be clueless about all that is most personal to you; all that gives contour and definition to your life –  your deepest loves and frustrations, all that distinguishes your life from all others‘ lives, and yet, at the same time, mysteriously connects you at the deepest level to all other lives.  And that’s a lonely, lonely thing.

Since our need to be loved is so great, indeed, at times so desperate, we often settle for inferior expressions of love where lack to quality of being known.

There was a distressing news item this past week that was strangely revealing about the times we live in.  Senator Larry Craig of Idaho was arrested in a Minnesota airport men’s room in a sting operation that claimed he was there trying to solicit sexual contact with a stranger.   Initially he pleaded guilty, but when the story hit the news he claimed he hadn’t done anything wrong — that his actions in that bathroom stall were misunderstood, and that, “I don’t do those kinds of things.  I’m not that kind of person.  I’m not gay.”

Now I suppose it is possible that Senator Craig didn’t do what he is accused of doing, but from what I have read, it seems most likely he is, indeed, a gay man refusing to come out of the closet.   Senator’s Craig’s story says something about what it means to be a stranger in this world, and our deep, deep need to be loved. 

I want to pause here and state the obvious — that we live in a world that has changed quite dramatically from the one our ancestors lived in.  In a certain sense the world of a few decades ago was a more loving place than we often experience in the modern world.  People didn’t move around much, and so there was a sense of being in a community of neighbors who knew each other, and that was at times a wonderful thing. 

Nowadays we commonly live in neighborhoods filled with strangers, folks who don’t really know anything about one another, and who plan to keep it that way.  It can be very, very lonely, this brave, new world we live in — a world full of strangers. 

There is, however, a way in which the modern world in some instances allows for a deeper form of love to exist than often was the case in the past.  In the old world, if there was something about you that didn’t fit in with the norm established by the neighbors, well, your only choice was to repress it, to pretend, as best you could, to fit in, regardless of the damage done to your soul by this pretence.  Nowadays, there is greater personal freedom to go out and find those with whom you can be yourself, so to speak. 

The world that Senator Craig grew up in, and has lived much of his life connected to, is closer to the experience of generations past than is our experience out here in the east.  

Larry Craig is a child of God who shares in that same deep need to be loved as do we all.  Over the years he has received a great deal of love from the folks of Idaho.  They have told him in various ways how much they appreciate him, respect him, indeed, love him, and these expressions of love and affection have sustained him through the years.    There was, I suspect, something intoxicating about this kind of love,  because along with it came a fair amount of money, power, and status. 

But, if, in fact, God wired Larry Craig in his creation in such a way that he was attracted sexually to men, not women, well, there was a problem.  He couldn’t let this important, intimate truth about himself be known, for fear that it would jeopardize the kind of love he had long ago grown to count on. 

Nonetheless, Larry Craig still has the need to be touched in a sexual way, and since being in a truly loving relationship with another man didn’t seem to him to be an option because of the cultural context that said homosexuality is always sin, then in order to receive such a touch he felt compelled to slink around in the shadows with strangers — to be touched by men who didn’t know him from Adam, but who shared, at least that same need to be touched by another man. 

And so the great tragedy of his life:  Senator Craig was loved by people who never really truly knew him:  the folks of Idaho, his wife, the strangers from his bathroom encounters. 

The Scripture lesson this morning covers a lot of bases.  It includes a reference to the sanctity of marriage:  “Let marriage be held in honor by all, and let the marriage bed be kept undefiled.”

Here is the thing about marriage:  Generally speaking, marriage is the relationship in this world in which a person is most likely to be known in depth. We can hide large parts of ourselves to some extent from our friends and the people we work with; but hiding is harder to do in marriage where our spouse sees us in bed and out of bed, the good and the not so good.  A marriage has the potential for providing the deepest form of “knowing” this side of God’s knowing of us. 

And that is a wonderful thing, but also, a potentially terrifying and deeply destructive thing.  To have another person come to know us so intimately and then turn around and reject us –  well, there aren’t many wounds that can hurt so deeply and destructively.

And so it is crucial that marriage be honored, supported, indeed, recognized as holy.   When marriage works the way God intended it to work, it is deeply healing and transformative — a sacrament through which God works in our lives to make us over time more Christ-like. 

I believe that gay and lesbian people should be given the same opportunity to enter into this blessing.  If we withhold this opportunity, we end up encouraging people to live lives of deceit, slinking around in bathroom stalls.

We are about to celebrate holy communion.  Here’s the deal:  Jesus knows us better than we know ourselves.  When on that night long ago he shared the Last Supper with his disciples, he told them they would fall away.  They said it wasn’t so, but he knew them better than they knew themselves — that they would all let him down.  He said, however, that he would still love them.  He’d would welcome them back and he’d forgive them.  And this is just what he did.  Wonderful host that he was, he made breakfast for them by the seashore. 

Jesus knows you, too.  I mean really knows you.  He knows you at your best, but he also knows you at your worst.  He knows all the little hypocrisies of your lives, all the little betrayals, all the mean-spirited hard-heartedness that has, at times, been a part of your life, and yet, he still loves you.   I mean REALLY loves you. 

He wants to invite us to breakfast with him. 

He wants to live inside us so that  we can learn how to really love ourselves and in turn really love others.  This is the love that we can trust, the love that invites us to be real.  This is the love in which we can put our trust.